xPERFECTxDRUG

This is my journey of finding out what life means for me and what I want to make of it. This is my journey of finding out who I was, who I am, and who I want to be. This is a collection of the neverending thoughts that plague my head. If you really want to know what I think of you, then you've come to the right place. Here, I won't hold back and you can't say I didn't warn you. There is a definite possibility that I may something that will hurt you. Your choice if you want to read on.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

*sigh* depressing.

Man... my cold is still not getting any better and I feel like shit. I keep coughing... I mean, it's not as bad as it was before, but I'm still coughing. My nose is runny and so my desk is filled with tissue that I've had to use up. My mom saw it and said that it looks like my cold is pretty serious (DUH)... but she also said that if I don't get better soon I'll always have a crappy ass cold like this every winter or something like that. When she said that I just thought... "nooo..."

Man, I'm so fucking depressed... I feel like I should vent it all out here but I can't even begin to write it all out. I don't even understand why I'm feeling so down. I just think it's amazing how people you love can bring you down so amazingly low. I wish I was better at cheering people up. I never realized how amazing a person could be if that person could make you feel better. The truth is that I'm not one of those people...

Another reason I'm depressed is because my birthday is in 2 days. Everytime I think about it... it's just depressing. I wish that I could be like one of those people that forget their birthdays... Those people amaze me... I know though that on Tuesday, that some people will remember my birthday and as much as I wish I could tell them it's not, that won't happen. No matter what, I'll still be 18... 18 what a depressing number! I guess I just wish I wasn't so emotional. I'm tired of being sick... I'm tired of depressing things.