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This is my journey of finding out what life means for me and what I want to make of it. This is my journey of finding out who I was, who I am, and who I want to be. This is a collection of the neverending thoughts that plague my head. If you really want to know what I think of you, then you've come to the right place. Here, I won't hold back and you can't say I didn't warn you. There is a definite possibility that I may something that will hurt you. Your choice if you want to read on.

Friday, December 23, 2005

All alone

I'm so sad. I don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore. I don't know who my friends are and I've never felt so alone before. I wish I could talk to someone.

posted by Rukia @ 10:52 PM  

8 Comments:

  • At 9:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You are never alone. Don't think you do not have friends, because I am positive that you do have some people in your life. What is bugging you, precisely? Reply to this comment if you do want to say something.

    Otherwise there is nothing I can say. I'm very sorry.

    Merry Christmas
    ::Hug::

     

  • At 10:26 PM, Blogger Rukia said…

    I say I don't really have any true friends because... my friends that I graduated from high school with aren't close to me. They are back home but I haven't called any of them to hang out, and really I only care about one or two. My other group of friends are seniors in high school this year and I know they don't mean to, but whenever they hang out, they tend to forget me because i don't go to school with them. these were the people I was closest with last year. whenever they do invite me and I hang out with them, mostly, I feel out of the loop because I've missed a lot of stuff. I haven't met anyone at college who I'm really close with... maybe a few that I would like to be close with, but I dunno if they are worth that effort. They don't seem to want to open up or talk to me, not really. My last group of friends live all the way up in Sun Valley (good 30-45 min drive), because they are so far, I don't get to see them so often and in the process, haven't been very close with them either. I like being with them, but I never feel like I belong there either, I don't feel witty enough to be a participant, but rather a silent listner or observer that laughs at the jokes they say. This is what I meant.

     

  • At 10:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I understand. For the most part, it's putting that extra effort on your end, regardless of the result you think would happen, that will grant you that closeness to that other person you wish to be close to. It's all on your part. Take care though and enjoy the New Year!
    If anything else is wrong or seems amiss just write back or something. :D

    I guess I'll go by a name for this blog just for reference.
    -Joon Yamamoto

    P.S. A lot of times it is a very powerful and humble person that is the observer of what happens around them with the ability to change a lot of things in their society.

     

  • At 11:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This may be strange, but how much does a person's looks hold into the relationship?

    -Joon Yamamoto

     

  • At 9:56 PM, Blogger Rukia said…

    huh? you mean a person's physical appearance for a dating relationship? i'd say it's pretty important for me just cause i noticed that if i'm not physically attracted to the person enough, then i lose interests.

     

  • At 10:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thank you. I also noticed you got a lot more mature throughout your entries. Keep it up, that'll be the balance that will save you one day.

    -Joon Yamamoto

    Sadly, I always dispised that superfical aspect in a relationship. Some relationships seem like all show and no heart. For example, the two lovers would hug and kiss, but never do anything else. Oh well, thank you for the opinion and take care.

     

  • At 1:55 PM, Blogger Rukia said…

    hmm but you know i think people only really talk and converse when it's only them two, that's how it is for me. not that i dont do that at all with other people around, but i can just talk better 1 on 1. as for only hugging and kissing, i dont think i would do that in public, maybe hold hands, but i dont see anything too bad with hugging. kissing is kinda rude.

     

  • At 8:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That seems about right, although their are many people that just get together in groups and talk, they really just want to talk to only one person. And yes, one on one conversations are a lot better, especially for getting to know someone. It's really hard to tell who you are talking to when they are in a group as opposed to when you speak to them as individuals.

    Your ethtics in terms of relationships and going about hugging/kissing are strong, heck its a lot better than about 80% of what my friends do.

    Enjoy your day, I need to run.
    -Joon Yamamoto

     

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