Quietly disagree
It's been a really long time since I last updated (from the usual anyway). Today, I decided to skip class at the spur of the moment. In fact, my math class is going on right now and will end in about 15 minutes. The thought of showing up at the class late and trying to take notes, sitting on the side, and squinting hard didn't really appeal to me. I can't believe it, but my eye sight has gotten worse. I'm squitting so much, and it pisses me off.
This week has been crazy. I say this week instead of the past two days because my week is over after today. I'm going home tonight and I'm going to see Charita. I might visit my school either Thursday or Friday and Burbank/Sun Valley on either of those days, cause I haven't seen my Burbank friends in a long time. I miss them. (Jon keeps calling me to ask when I'm going up there to play melee.)
The reason this week has been really crazy is because my emotions have been going haywire. Monday, I was really depressed and I still don't know why. I felt better when I went to the smash tourney, but I think that was cause I got my mind off things. I won't really talk about the tourney because I don't really have anything to say about it... oh except, this guy I teamed up with, Michael, he was really good, and definitely better than I.
Tuesday was a weird day, I felt apathetic about everything just about the whole day. It wasn't until after my lab and I went to Greg's (my lab partner) hall (Elrond) that I felt better. Playing smash definitely makes me feel better, win or lose. I went home around 2 and I didn't sleep until 4.
I've realized something about myself that I guess, I've always known, just never could pinpoint it. I say I don't care about what people think about me... but I do, there are certain people where I care about what they would think about me... and these people, are usually my friends. I tend to see them have this power over me... and because of that, I have a tendency to be submissive to them... such as if I were to get into an arguement with them, instead of arguing back, I would find a way to quietly disagree with them, but not get into a heated arguement about it. I guess this explains why I've never really fought with friends... the good friends I have, we never fight, but the rest of the people that are just whatever friends, I avoid fights. I guess the reason I'm scared to argue back is because I'm scared that the friend will think that I suck or I'm stupid or I'm not cool because he thinks what I think/like is lame. Hmm... I know it makes sense that people should think I'm cool for who I really am, but I can't really help it. I'm a bit weak.
I think, for the most part, I've gotten over that guy that I liked. There are certain aspects of him that I can't stand, personality-wise and because of that, he person doesn't look attractive as I first thought him.
I can't wait to be out of here! Oh yeah, I'm housesitting for 6 days/5 nights. That's part of the reason why I have to stay around home area.
Man, I feel much better getting all of this out, though I am sure that in a few minutes, after I walk outta here, I'm going to feel depressed again.
Good day and good grief.
This week has been crazy. I say this week instead of the past two days because my week is over after today. I'm going home tonight and I'm going to see Charita. I might visit my school either Thursday or Friday and Burbank/Sun Valley on either of those days, cause I haven't seen my Burbank friends in a long time. I miss them. (Jon keeps calling me to ask when I'm going up there to play melee.)
The reason this week has been really crazy is because my emotions have been going haywire. Monday, I was really depressed and I still don't know why. I felt better when I went to the smash tourney, but I think that was cause I got my mind off things. I won't really talk about the tourney because I don't really have anything to say about it... oh except, this guy I teamed up with, Michael, he was really good, and definitely better than I.
Tuesday was a weird day, I felt apathetic about everything just about the whole day. It wasn't until after my lab and I went to Greg's (my lab partner) hall (Elrond) that I felt better. Playing smash definitely makes me feel better, win or lose. I went home around 2 and I didn't sleep until 4.
I've realized something about myself that I guess, I've always known, just never could pinpoint it. I say I don't care about what people think about me... but I do, there are certain people where I care about what they would think about me... and these people, are usually my friends. I tend to see them have this power over me... and because of that, I have a tendency to be submissive to them... such as if I were to get into an arguement with them, instead of arguing back, I would find a way to quietly disagree with them, but not get into a heated arguement about it. I guess this explains why I've never really fought with friends... the good friends I have, we never fight, but the rest of the people that are just whatever friends, I avoid fights. I guess the reason I'm scared to argue back is because I'm scared that the friend will think that I suck or I'm stupid or I'm not cool because he thinks what I think/like is lame. Hmm... I know it makes sense that people should think I'm cool for who I really am, but I can't really help it. I'm a bit weak.
I think, for the most part, I've gotten over that guy that I liked. There are certain aspects of him that I can't stand, personality-wise and because of that, he person doesn't look attractive as I first thought him.
I can't wait to be out of here! Oh yeah, I'm housesitting for 6 days/5 nights. That's part of the reason why I have to stay around home area.
Man, I feel much better getting all of this out, though I am sure that in a few minutes, after I walk outta here, I'm going to feel depressed again.
Good day and good grief.
posted by Rukia @ 9:35 AM
2 Comments:
At 11:39 AM,
Anonymous said…
Of course you care what other people think. Nobody, not even me or anybody else, can say they don't care what people think about them, because quite frankly there are people that they're close to who they want to be their best for. And that whole submissive thing, I do that too in a certain sense, just because I know how stubborn Court is haha.
-Mickey!
At 9:49 AM,
Anonymous said…
You skipped a Maths class? Noooo, Maths is GOOD, even when it's boring old differentiation and integration. Hope you get to learn HOW it came about. :D Heh, i'm such a Maths geek now.
How come you were depressed on Monday?
I completely agree with the first sentence that Mickey person (in the above comment) wrote. Of course, i'd like to think that i don't care what a lot of people say or mention, especially in whatever i like or dislike. But sometimes, if my mum or bro or a really close friend say "You look really stupid in that" or "i really don't think you should do that" i will definately think about my decision [whatever it is].
About that submission thing, hmmm, i'm not sure about that. With most people, i say what i think of them (or whatever) honestly because i think that they deserve an honest answer. If i disagree with them, i will say that i disagree.
I guess the only times i 'quietly disagree' is when i argue with my dad because he NEVER thinks he's wrong. Like when he somehow messed our computer up, he still managed to try and blame my brother and i. In the end, we just ignore him now. But ANYWAYS, i don't really have a point here, but i personally don't think that you should quietly disagree with any of your friends.
People you have just made friends with? Hmm, maybe, because they don't know you well yet, and you don' tknow them well yet. I guess it's similar with that being blunt and insulting people earlier in your first or second entry.
I think, you can quietly disagree when you're not good friends with them, but if you DO become close, or good friends, then disagreements shouldn't be a problem. If they are, then i guess they weren't as good a friend as you thought they were.
Man, that was scatter-brained comment. I hope it's in order and makes sense. -_-''
Jeff.
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