Alone.
I have been listening to this song, "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane, for the last 30 minutes or so. I'm surprised I'm not sick of it. It's a really sad and kinda slow song. It kind of reminds me of Clocks by Coldplay (that's a good song too).
For some reason, I feel really depressed. I have been thinking about things that I shouldn't be thinking about... I guess, though, anything I think about is bad. I generally blow things out of proportion. I don't know... thinking is just bad for me. Thinking gets me depressed... this song helps my mood.
Hmm... generally I should be floating on clouds right now, but I don't feel that way. I hate that I'm so easily affected when people are depressed. It really gets to me when someone feels down and I cannot cheer them up... I mean, if the person really matters to me. I don't know... but I guess it's because not being able to cheer someone up, I feel like I don't add up to anything... like I can't even cheer someone up, what am I?
For some reason, I am so sick of everything, but I don't know what that everything is. Why am I so frustrated? I really feel like beating someone up or throwing stuff at the wall. I don't understand what's going on in my brain... it's like I have no control over my thoughts.
I want to cry.
I hate being alone. It's dangerous.
I think thoughts that I shouldn't and I get really really unnormally depressive. I wish I could control it.
For some reason, I feel really depressed. I have been thinking about things that I shouldn't be thinking about... I guess, though, anything I think about is bad. I generally blow things out of proportion. I don't know... thinking is just bad for me. Thinking gets me depressed... this song helps my mood.
Hmm... generally I should be floating on clouds right now, but I don't feel that way. I hate that I'm so easily affected when people are depressed. It really gets to me when someone feels down and I cannot cheer them up... I mean, if the person really matters to me. I don't know... but I guess it's because not being able to cheer someone up, I feel like I don't add up to anything... like I can't even cheer someone up, what am I?
For some reason, I am so sick of everything, but I don't know what that everything is. Why am I so frustrated? I really feel like beating someone up or throwing stuff at the wall. I don't understand what's going on in my brain... it's like I have no control over my thoughts.
I want to cry.
I hate being alone. It's dangerous.
I think thoughts that I shouldn't and I get really really unnormally depressive. I wish I could control it.
posted by Rukia @ 11:24 PM
1 Comments:
At 12:51 AM,
^^ said…
I feel the same way too. When I can't cheer someone up... I'm affected so much by other people's moods. I think that may be the biggest reason why I have trouble bringing up people's moods. I get depressed with them and since I don't know how to bring my mood back up, I can't bring the other person's mood up. -_-;;
Thinking is good. But it's bad when it brings your mood down. -_-;; Everytime I think about things, I get depressed. All these different thoughts come to mind and everything bad that has ever happened to me or to people around me just circles back to me. All my thoughts just tell me that I'm the one at fault for everything. -_-;; I don't like thinking because of that. Eh, I don't know. I guess I could write a whole blog entry on thinking. xD
*hugs* Feel better. See you at school~ ^^
-ZuRi-
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