xPERFECTxDRUG

This is my journey of finding out what life means for me and what I want to make of it. This is my journey of finding out who I was, who I am, and who I want to be. This is a collection of the neverending thoughts that plague my head. If you really want to know what I think of you, then you've come to the right place. Here, I won't hold back and you can't say I didn't warn you. There is a definite possibility that I may something that will hurt you. Your choice if you want to read on.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

My brother and my dad.

I hate my dad. He's unfair... but sometimes I think that I am just like him.

My brother's friend called him some minutes ago and told him to come over to his house, but the thing is, he lives in Long Beach, about 20 minutes away. Dad said that it's too late in the afternoon to send him off to his friend's house especially if he'll be coming home at 8pm. He kept arguing and arguing with him and dad still said no. Finally, my dad said "ok, I'll take you if you play an hour of piano." And he said "one hour?!" And then my dad said "yeah, your sister used to play an hour!" I hate when he brings me into things too... that pisses me off.

They shut up for a second before my brother got angry again. "I still want to go. I don't care if I don't have much time to play." And then my dad said "Oh, you don't care? Okay then, go play the piano for an hour and thirty minutes and I'll take you." What the fuck is that? ... Then my brother got really pissed and now he's crying, whinning, moaning, and all that crap that kids do when they cry.

I felt bad at first, but I don't have time to take him, I have so much junk to do... and not just that but I have no gas money and I can't take it from my dad because he noticed that 20 dollars were missing so yeah... plus I owe money to Dami from Six Flags yesterday.

If it was another situation, I guess I would've taken him. I guess he expects me to stand up to my dad and to stand up for him, but I learned years ago not to try anymore. I learned not to get upset by the things that he said. Why bother? He always breaks his fucking promises. I hate that bastard that I am forced to call my dad.

Now my brother is playing the piano. He's still trying so hard. My brother is a lot more tenacious than I am, I think. If it was me, I would not have played the piano. I would resort to other ways to entertain myself... not going to my friend's house is not the end of the world. I guess he hasn't learned that lesson yet.

I feel kinda sorry for him... but this is a lesson he must learn on his own. I hope he learns it soon. It sucks that I have to stand by and not be able to help... I can't really stand my brother... but I hate my dad and what he does.

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