My cousins.
Well, yes I am still worried about the ticket, but I have been feeling better because I've been talking to someone kind of unexpected lately. I'm going to call him Kurk, for the sake that, I just don't want to reveal his name. I felt like I got betrayed by one of my friends lately, and maybe even 2. After what happened with Eric, I thought maybe things would look up... but it hasn't. Everything has been so fucking wrong and I'm just dying to hear some good news from anyone, but I haven't. I would've talked about this with the friend that "betrayed" me, but... well, if this person betrayed me, why would I talk to him/her? Anyway, this person didn't really betray me, I just feel that way. *sigh* Instead, I'm talking about it with Kurk, which makes me feel better, because I need to talk about it with someone. I made all these bunches of new friends this year, and I thought that I could turn to them, but I was wrong, it's those that are now closest to us, that can hurt us the most. With everything going on in my head, and the things I'm feeling, I just don't care about other people right now. Well, except Kurk's problems. I guess, cause he's listening to me.
My mom got a phone call from my cousin (on her side). Her name is Yang-Shung (I think that's how you spell it). Yang-Shung is my oldest cousin, and she has her own family, including a baby boy, who's now 3. My only other cousin from my mom's side is Ling-Ling. She's younger, but she also has a family and a baby girl, who's about 1. Yang-Shung told my mother about the lifestyle that Ling-Ling was living, who then later told me. You see, out of my cousins (I only have one other cousin who's still a baby (from my dad's side) so yeah...), I'm kind of like the last chance in the family to go to a good school (excluding my brother, because he's a boy and the rest of us are girls). Yang-Shung's mom died when it was a critical time in her life... She was about 13 or so, and because her mom got cancer, all the attention was focused on her mom and she had nobody left... nobody that took care of her. She slowly built ties with this boy at school and began dating him, secretly. Her grades dropped (well they had since her mom was dying, but it got worse)... and her life just really sucked from then on. She didn't end up marrying him, even though she still loved him. I'm not very close with her, but I'm sure that even now, she still thinks about the guy she could've been with...
Ling-Ling was a completely different story. She started skipping classes in middle school to go clubbing and dancing. She never even finished middle school... well, she did later, with make up classes. I was really close to Ling-Ling when I was younger. She was always smiling and had a positive influence on me. I did not learn about her destructive past until I went to China last summer, when my mom told me. I'd never have guess that she's gotten that bad. Ling-Ling was always kind of a role model in the back of my head... Well, she ended up going to Ireland, where she met her husband, Chris. I've met Chris, and there's something about him that I really can't stand... I can't quite put my finger on it. Anyway, Ling-Ling came back with her husband and they're living with Ling-Ling's parents. Maybe that's not such a bad thing, because if that was the worst part, I wouldn't feel shameful for her. But the thing is... Ling-Ling doesn't work, only Chris. Chris teaches at some international language school. Ling-Ling claims that she doesn't work because she wouldn't earn much money (which is true). Chris earns a hell of a lot more money than she would, but she should still work... but anyway. What happens is that, Chris only works about 3 times a week now, mostly afternoon classes. Ling-Ling and Chris get up around 1pm or so and then shower and eat and then while Chris goes to work Ling-Ling is out doing who knows what, because they always come home together at night. After eating dinner, they go on the computer for the reminder of the night, till about 2am or so and then they go to sleep.
If Ling-Ling doesn't work, at least she could watch her own child... but her mom is always taking care of her. Ling-Ling doesn't act like a mother at all. My mom told me that the baby keeps getting colds and stuff and Ling-Ling is blaming it on her mom because she doesn't take care of her baby well enough or something. That's not only impudent, but it's just fucking messed up! If she's got a problem with it, she should take care of her own child, that's what she should be doing anyway. Fuck, she's a horrible mother and I feel sorry for my niece. I'm sorry I had to say that, but that's how I feel.
It makes me wonder how I will turn out in a few years. Fuck... if I turn out anything like my cousin, the least I could do, is not bring a child into the world.
My mom got a phone call from my cousin (on her side). Her name is Yang-Shung (I think that's how you spell it). Yang-Shung is my oldest cousin, and she has her own family, including a baby boy, who's now 3. My only other cousin from my mom's side is Ling-Ling. She's younger, but she also has a family and a baby girl, who's about 1. Yang-Shung told my mother about the lifestyle that Ling-Ling was living, who then later told me. You see, out of my cousins (I only have one other cousin who's still a baby (from my dad's side) so yeah...), I'm kind of like the last chance in the family to go to a good school (excluding my brother, because he's a boy and the rest of us are girls). Yang-Shung's mom died when it was a critical time in her life... She was about 13 or so, and because her mom got cancer, all the attention was focused on her mom and she had nobody left... nobody that took care of her. She slowly built ties with this boy at school and began dating him, secretly. Her grades dropped (well they had since her mom was dying, but it got worse)... and her life just really sucked from then on. She didn't end up marrying him, even though she still loved him. I'm not very close with her, but I'm sure that even now, she still thinks about the guy she could've been with...
Ling-Ling was a completely different story. She started skipping classes in middle school to go clubbing and dancing. She never even finished middle school... well, she did later, with make up classes. I was really close to Ling-Ling when I was younger. She was always smiling and had a positive influence on me. I did not learn about her destructive past until I went to China last summer, when my mom told me. I'd never have guess that she's gotten that bad. Ling-Ling was always kind of a role model in the back of my head... Well, she ended up going to Ireland, where she met her husband, Chris. I've met Chris, and there's something about him that I really can't stand... I can't quite put my finger on it. Anyway, Ling-Ling came back with her husband and they're living with Ling-Ling's parents. Maybe that's not such a bad thing, because if that was the worst part, I wouldn't feel shameful for her. But the thing is... Ling-Ling doesn't work, only Chris. Chris teaches at some international language school. Ling-Ling claims that she doesn't work because she wouldn't earn much money (which is true). Chris earns a hell of a lot more money than she would, but she should still work... but anyway. What happens is that, Chris only works about 3 times a week now, mostly afternoon classes. Ling-Ling and Chris get up around 1pm or so and then shower and eat and then while Chris goes to work Ling-Ling is out doing who knows what, because they always come home together at night. After eating dinner, they go on the computer for the reminder of the night, till about 2am or so and then they go to sleep.
If Ling-Ling doesn't work, at least she could watch her own child... but her mom is always taking care of her. Ling-Ling doesn't act like a mother at all. My mom told me that the baby keeps getting colds and stuff and Ling-Ling is blaming it on her mom because she doesn't take care of her baby well enough or something. That's not only impudent, but it's just fucking messed up! If she's got a problem with it, she should take care of her own child, that's what she should be doing anyway. Fuck, she's a horrible mother and I feel sorry for my niece. I'm sorry I had to say that, but that's how I feel.
It makes me wonder how I will turn out in a few years. Fuck... if I turn out anything like my cousin, the least I could do, is not bring a child into the world.
posted by Rukia @ 10:05 PM
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