Boredom.
I'm tired of life... and I'm not saying this in a depressive way, but I'm just tired of life. It seems so boring and it has nothing to offer. I'm tired of going to work, because I don't really like the job I'm doing. I've thought about quitting and looking for another job, but I don't think that I would like that job any more and if anything, I think I would want to come back to Knott's because I really like meeting new fun people... I just don't really like the people I work with, for the most part. The only girl I really liked, Jocelyn is quitting and she already turned in her two weeks notice. I can't relate to the other people at work and I can't really stand most of them. The girls are those preppy, cheerleader type happy girls and the only one that's not is this weird girl who kinda reminds me of Joseph because she always looks stoned. She's always saying "huh?"... like Joseph. Most of the guys flirt with the preppy girls and I don't know, they're friendly anyway, the odd thing is most of the guys have girlfriends. How odd. I hate all of them and their personalities. I just don't belong with them. And maybe I wouldn't care, but it makes work more boring. *Sigh* I just never can relate to anyone.
School kinda sucks ass too because there's nothing to do. I hate school now because I don't really learn anything; it's mostly busy work or watching movies. All I do in half of my classes is play cards, which I don't mind because that's the only thing that's keeping me from complete insanity. That and listening to my music. Hmm... but ever since I've started listening to my iPod, I noticed that I'm getting tired of my music faster. Reading has been a big part of my life now. I don't know, but somehow I got myself interested in reading again, I finished 3 books this week and for that I am proud of myself. I still however, have a ton of books that I want to read.
I hate the people I hang around, I really do. The truth of the matter is that, I don't want to hang around them, but I do want to hang out. I still believe in my old theory that people just hang out with people to keep from boredom and loneliness. I can't stand the people I hang around, but I would still hang around them, it's because it's a choice between which one you want to avoid more. It's really a no win situation though, because generally when I'm with my other friends, I can't really stand them. That's why the last time I went out, I invited Zuri. I feel like Zuri is one of the last few people that I enjoy hanging out with. Charita as well. And a few others, but I don't really feel like naming them especially since I hang out with them so little anyway.
I remember what Sarah said to me in my yearbook last year...
Or at least I thought it was her. I just went through my yearbook and I can't seem to find it. Maybe it was someone else that said it, but anyway what I remember was that someone had said that in the last year of high school, you quickly realize who your real friends are because you really want to keep in touch with them, the others you realize that it doesn't really matter. And at the time when I read that, I hadn't really realized it, but now that I see what has happened around me, I have to admit that that's what happened. I don't care about a lot of the people I hang around with and if I never see them again, it would be of no lost to me. That's life, I guess... but honestly, I don't really care. I'll be okay with who I have left because they're the only ones that matter.
School kinda sucks ass too because there's nothing to do. I hate school now because I don't really learn anything; it's mostly busy work or watching movies. All I do in half of my classes is play cards, which I don't mind because that's the only thing that's keeping me from complete insanity. That and listening to my music. Hmm... but ever since I've started listening to my iPod, I noticed that I'm getting tired of my music faster. Reading has been a big part of my life now. I don't know, but somehow I got myself interested in reading again, I finished 3 books this week and for that I am proud of myself. I still however, have a ton of books that I want to read.
I hate the people I hang around, I really do. The truth of the matter is that, I don't want to hang around them, but I do want to hang out. I still believe in my old theory that people just hang out with people to keep from boredom and loneliness. I can't stand the people I hang around, but I would still hang around them, it's because it's a choice between which one you want to avoid more. It's really a no win situation though, because generally when I'm with my other friends, I can't really stand them. That's why the last time I went out, I invited Zuri. I feel like Zuri is one of the last few people that I enjoy hanging out with. Charita as well. And a few others, but I don't really feel like naming them especially since I hang out with them so little anyway.
I remember what Sarah said to me in my yearbook last year...
Or at least I thought it was her. I just went through my yearbook and I can't seem to find it. Maybe it was someone else that said it, but anyway what I remember was that someone had said that in the last year of high school, you quickly realize who your real friends are because you really want to keep in touch with them, the others you realize that it doesn't really matter. And at the time when I read that, I hadn't really realized it, but now that I see what has happened around me, I have to admit that that's what happened. I don't care about a lot of the people I hang around with and if I never see them again, it would be of no lost to me. That's life, I guess... but honestly, I don't really care. I'll be okay with who I have left because they're the only ones that matter.
posted by Rukia @ 11:10 AM
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